The Battle Cats Cheats

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On the main menu, drag the handle of the base door to open, then close it. Do this quickly and repeatedly and you will receive a message confirming you have unlocked the new Flower Cat, access from the special cats menu. The Flower Cat is an attacker with a 10% chance to stop black-colored enemies.

We could pass a lot of laws and spend a lot of money and still not stop the Russians, or we could relax and let someone else do the work for us.

Let’s assume that for some weird reason the Russians want to support Donald Trump. But the Chinese certainly don’t want to support Donald Trump. They’re as capable of trolling and hacking as anyone else. Why not invite them to join the party to counteract the Russians?

You’re thinking now that this would encourage other countries to interfere too. Of course it would. The more the merrier — or scarier.

Saudi Arabia, say, would hack in for Trump, but then Iran would hack in for the opposition. Brexiteer trolls could do battle with Mexico. Norway could take on an offended shithole country.

It even works domestically (and probably already does) — the Koch Brothers could take on Tom Steyer and George Soros.

At some point, not only does everyone cancel each other out, but the internet and every other media outlet will be so clogged with politics that we’ll have to ignore it to maintain our sanity. Order and balance will be restored.

The concept is not dissimilar to what’s happened in the aftermath of Citizens United, the Supreme Court case that unleashed torrents of money into the political system. A lot of people think this is a bad thing, and it does seem wasteful and undemocratic. But you can’t argue that just one side has all the money. The Kochs and the Mercers are offset by the Steyers and Soros and millions of small donations. We’re all in this together.

All that political money is vital to the economy of the future. When technology takes all of our real jobs, we’re going to have to figure out a way to distribute the fruits of all that robot labor. There are two obvious things we can pay each other for: personal entertainment and personal lobbying.

If you can put together a hilarious, yet meaningful one-person show defaming politicians, you’ll be fixed for life.

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